Klaine CandyCrack
by SKSuncloud
Summary: Kurt and Blaine are attending another Rachel Berry party with Alcohol. It's a multichapter candycrack piece that involves some serious drunk reactions, not only drunk Blaine, but an exploration of drunk Kurt as well. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**- This is a candycrack story I wrote for myself after watching through season 3, episode 5 and it is only meant to be for fun. Do not expect sex because you will not get it. It actually gets kind of depressing, but it's candycrack. Read at your own risk. It's several chapters which I'll post slowly and if it has a good response then I'll think about posting a less cracky Klaine fanfic I want to write.

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><p>A KLAINE STORY WITH NO REAL PREMISE-<p>

It's definitely evening, streetlights are going on and sun is going down. Rachel's throwing another party similar to "Blame it on the Alcohol."

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><p>When they got out of the car and were heading for the door, Blaine stopped Kurt, took both of his hands and looked at him very seriously.<p>

"Kurt, this celebration is about you. I think you should drink tonight, if you want to."

Kurt swung Blaine's arms back and forth slightly. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't do so well drunk. The one time I tried? Let's just say it wasn't my crowning moment."

"Yeah, but you're older now and you're with friends. You deserve to have some fun."

A high note shrieked out of the house and they both looked up, then smiled fondly back at each other.

"I'm going to have a lot more fun looking after you and making sure you don't do anything untoward to Rachel Berry." Blaine rolled his eyes, smirked, and pecked Kurt on the lips. "Besides," Kurt continued after rolling his lips in to taste where Blaine's had just been and smiling, "I'm designated driver." He held his hands out for Blaine's keys.

Blaine put the keys behind his back, and when Kurt moved closer to reach around him he said, "Nope, I'm designated driver tonight."

"What?"

"Like I said, tonight is about you, and I don't want to do anything stupid around you. Again. Like I always do." Their bodies were very close. Blaine leaned his chest into Kurt's and kissed his cheek, using the movement as a distraction from the keys.  
>"That's not true… okay, it is true. I'd rather get you home without having to see you all over one of my sworn rivals, but I don't want you to not have fun because of me."<p>

"I will have fun."

"No. I'm not drinking. It's a bad idea. Let me keep the keys."

"Alright. Then neither of us are drinking at Rachel's drinking party." Blaine looked at Kurt very seriously from under his long eyelashes.

This wasn't how Kurt had meant it to be. They'd been looking forward to this party all week. They'd spent the day matching their outfits, (this is a crack piece and the narrator doesn't feel like going into detail but they were super cute), and Rachel had texted him a hundred times last night telling him how excited she was and asking what she should wear and telling him how excited she would be to see them both there and promising not to steal his boyfriend again. He didn't want to let her down by being a party pooper. He didn't want to let anyone down.

Blaine's big puppy eyes had turned into crossed eyebrows of concern. Kurt ran his hands down Blaine's arms, and they relaxed and he took Blaine's hands squeezed them both just below the wrist, because Blaine was still holding right to the keys, then brought them up to his lips and kissed Blaine's knuckles.

"No. Here's what we'll do. We'll give Rachel… no. We'll give Finn the keys and he can lock them up and I will _try_ drinking just a _little_… if you will too."

Blaine's eyes were on Kurt's hands and he parted his lips to speak but was interrupted.

"Are you two coming in, or are you gonna make-out in the street all night?"

Mercedes had come up the street and was standing just a few feet away, smiling at them. Kurt dropped Blaine's hands and hugged Mercedes. They kissed each other on each cheek like they were already movie stars, and then Kurt held her out at arm's length, looked her up and down and shook his head. "We cannot be seen together."

Mercedes smiled, "You like it?"

"Like it? You're going to upstage me! You look incredible! No wonder you didn't call last night to talk clothes."

(Again, narrator is too lazy, but Mercedes looks hot as hell and super stylish in a very casual and friendly-party sort of way.)

"It's good to see you, Mercedes," Blaine said, and gave her a hug as soon as Kurt let her go and gave him an opening.

"Where's your man?" Kurt asked.

Mercedes rolled her eyes, "Out of state. Football. It'll never last."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear it," Blaine said, looking to Kurt for direction.

Mercedes shook her head, then she took one of Blaine's arms, and one of Kurt's in the crook of her's and turned them toward the door to Rachel's house.

"Now! Shall we go to the party?" she asked proudly.

"I think they started without us," Blaine commented as they started up the walk, looking over Mercedes' head at Kurt, with a smile.

"We heard a cat die inside not long ago," Kurt explained. Mercedes looked at him.

"Was it a Rachel Berry cat?" she asked.

"We can only hope it kills her voice."

"Come on you two, be nice," Blaine chastised as they giggled. When they got to the door Kurt knocked enthusiastically. Blaine looked at him again, and over the top of Mercedes' head they shared a quick kiss.

Mercedes' tsked and said, "Aren't you two so cute?"

They both leaned down and gave her a big smooch on her respective cheeks just as the door swung open to reveal Finn, whose tie was no longer on straight, and Puck, who raised both hands in the air and said, "It's a big gay sandwich! Gimme some love!" He plopped a kiss on Mercedes nose, which made her laugh, and they all walked inside.

Kurt raised his eyebrows and chin at Finn as he shut the door. "Enjoying the party, I see."

"I am not even drunk," Finn assured him, closing his eyes and shaking his head for emphasis.

Mercedes and Puck were already headed downstairs and after taking off his coat, Blaine waited for Kurt while Kurt explained the key situation to Finn, who tossed them in the bowl by the door and headed downstairs. Blaine helped Kurt take his coat off.

"You're going to have fun," he assured him.

"You too," Kurt smiled, then they took each other's hands and set off into the basement.

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><p>THIS COULD TOTALLY BE A CHAPTER BREAK.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**- Welcome to the most non-committal story ever! From the Narrator… the couples are all totally committed. This chapter has some Santana/Brittney! Yaaaay. Also for the record, I decided Mike Chang is super responsible and kinda gets to play doctor. Just go with me. I needed a physician.

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><p>THAT WAS AN AWESOME CHAPTER BREAK. LET'S CARRY ON, SHALL WE?<p>

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><p>At the bottom of the stairs Rachel shrieked and ran, stumbling across the room, and wrapped her arms around Kurt.<p>

"You MADE it! I thought you wouldn't even come!" She went to kiss Kurt and he pulled away with a laugh, so she turned to Blaine, "And my DUET partner is _finally_ here!"

"Ah ha, not this time," Blaine assured her, giving her a quick shoulder-hug.

"Drinks! Get them all drinks! Finn!"

Kurt smiled at Blaine and they went to sit together on the couch. When a cup of some vague and somewhat vinegary smelling alcohol was passed to Blaine, he handed it right off to Kurt.

"You're drinking?" Finn asked.

"Of course. Why not?" Kurt said, trying to withhold his gag reflex after sniffing the contents of the cup.

"I just… you never drink."

"Well I'm trying it out." Bravely, Kurt took a sip of it and his face involuntarily wrenched up from the bitter taste. He tried to keep himself from sticking out his tongue in disgust and shuddered. Blaine smiled at him, but his eyes were wide and moving rapidly over Kurt's face to catch any discomfort. "What is this?" Kurt demanded softly, and Blaine took the cup from him.

"We'll get you something else."

Brittney walked over with a wine cooler, and opened it for him, then started to climb onto his lap as he was taking it from her. "Do gay guy's like lap dances?"

"Not from you, sweetie," Santana answered, taking Brittney by the wrist and pulling her off Kurt.

"Not drinking tonight?" Blaine asked.

Santana was holding Brittney's swaying hips against her own to keep her from wandering off and Brittney responded by draping her arms around her captor's shoulders and making her lips comfortable up and down Santana's neck. "No, I decided to do the world a favor and keep my girl Brittney out of everybody else's pants."

"You taste like puzzle pieces. But ghetto."

"Oookay sugar, we are leaving this party." Santana tried to rock/walk Brittney toward the stairs before she complained,

"But I wanna dance. Now everyone's here. All our homo-awesome vibes can fill up the room and I can just leave my bra here. That's okay right?"

By this point Kurt had started sipping on the wine cooler and Blaine, trying to be a gentleman, had set the cup on the floor untouched. Rachel noticed from across the room.

"Oh my GOD! Kurt's drinking? Kurt! You and me. You and me we are going to sing… we are going to sing Oh! I'll just start it! It's from, you know this one Kurt! Here I'll get the microphones! Finn! Finn tell Kurt I wanna sing a song from Gypsy! Kurt! We. You and me, we're gonna sing," she was across the room by then and whispered in Kurt's ear, "If Momma was Married."

Blaine intervened, "You know, Rachel, I don't think Kurt's drunk yet."

"Definitely not," he agreed. Any other time, singing with Rachel would be welcomed, but… well, actually this was probably the perfect time to sing. "But I will absolutely take you up on that."

He held out his hand daintily and Rachel squealed, took it, and then yanked him across the room. He left his wine cooler with Blaine, who held it in his lap until Mercedes plopped down beside him and relieved him of it. Tina was clapping Mike's hands together before Kurt and Rachel had themselves situated onstage.

The duet went off beautifully, even though the drunk group consensus was that Broadway was too boring for a party and pop songs were being recommended through the whole number, and afterwards it was lucky that Finn was there to catch Rachel as she tried to crowd-dive onto the floor. Laughter was filling up the room.

Kurt found his way back to Blaine, who had procured him a fresh wine cooler. Mercedes had run up to take the microphone and some sort of game was happening in the middle of the floor. Blaine held the drink out to him, and he took it, then snuggled up into Blaine's arms.

"You're not drinking."

"I was listening to you nail your duet."

"You're not having fun, are you?" Kurt asked, full of concern.

"If you mean not playing… strip… something?" he referred to the game on the floor that everyone was suddenly laughing about. Puck was throwing off his T-shirt, so whatever it was, Blaine was not too far off. "I'm perfectly happy here with you."

"We might as well have stayed home and watched Downton Abbey."

"I honestly just didn't think that was your kind of show."

"I'm branching out."

Blaine smiled, "Well, drink up."

Kurt took a sip and stuck out his tongue again. "Is there alcohol that doesn't taste like laundry water and ammonia?"

"Only after you've had a couple."

Kurt emphasized that Blaine should be drinking something also, and only a minute later Rachel started waving from the floor and yelled, "Blaine! Blaine take off your clothes!"

Brittney chimed in with a "Whooo!" Her clothes were already mostly lying around the room and Santana was dragging her away from the game in an attempt to keep her lady-parts mostly covered up.

"On second thought, maybe I like you sober," Kurt decided.

"You guys are no fun!" Artie told them, and he rolled over and handed a cup of something to Kurt. "Come on, drink this and join in."

Party-Rock Anthem had started playing and the group of former-strippers were on their feet.

Kurt took a deep breath, then tried to "bottom's up" the beverage Artie had handed him, choked after the first mouthful and then tried not to dry-heave. "Oh my god that's awful. Drink it." He handed it off to Blaine.

Blaine smiled at Kurt and said "I love you," before finishing the drink and agreeing about the taste. Not long after, Blaine started in on the one on the floor.

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><p>THAT'S ANOTHER BREAKING POINT. GOOD FOR YOU. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- I'm actually super psyched about the views. At this point I'm convinced less of the views are from people clicking on the link by accident and then going "OH GOD MY EYES" and casting off. This is the chapter in which I remembered how awesome Rory would be as a jealousy-plot-point.

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><p>HEY LOOK ANOTHER CHAPTER? YOU GO, GIRL!<p>

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><p>The party carried on with louder music, more singing, and alcohol that seemed to never be in short supply. Santana had given up on being sober and was sobbing onto Kurt's shoulder by the time Twister was bought out.<p>

Kurt had finished a wine cooler and Santana's crying made it begin to feel necessary to start in on a second, which made him feel too uncoordinated to want to get up off the couch for Twister. Blaine, on the other hand, being a lightweight and having tried the mystery concoction and more than one other drink, had been giggling and dancing for over an hour now and was all in for twisting up with other people.

Mike Chang had declined his place as the favorite to win, claiming his advantage of being the designated driver and thus the only actually sober person in the room. Puck had skipped out ages ago, Mercedes declined to play and was giggling next to Mike Chang, Artie was spinner, and Finn had long ago passed out. They'd rolled him onto his side and put him on the stage where anyone actually paying attention could make sure he didn't die.

That left the game up to Blaine, Brittney, Tina, and Rachel, all of whom were so drunk they couldn't tell the colors apart, and they'd collapsed in a laughing heap three times before six colors were called.

After the third time Santana had stood up and started yelling in Spanish and all the commotion and all those girls on Blaine made Kurt feel more overwhelmed and upset than he'd ever felt in his life. He finished the wine cooler and started in on what he'd thought was another one but turned out to be a half-full beer bottle and was drinking it like it was a baby bottle. He felt it before he'd comprehended it, but he had started crying. Realizing that made him sniffle and choke on the beer and cough and then he laid down on the couch and just started crying.

"Blaine!" Rachel was yelling.

"Yeah?"

"Catch me!"

There was a thud a moment later and they were laughing hysterically again. Kurt looked up to see Blaine's beautiful smiling face looking up at Rachel Berry. Again. Then Santana sat on him, and he pulled his legs out from under her. She was talking to him in Spanish and took his beer away and started drinking it herself.

(At this moment the narrator remembered the Irish bloke and needed to write him in rather than wake up Finn. Rory had ALSO been playing Twister and was partly why Santana was upset, probably. But this time he helped Rachel off Blaine and then helped Blaine up and we'll start again assuming all of that. Remember that this piece is really diluted crack.)

Blaine needed to be helped up twice, which was more than Kurt could handle. The second time Rory pulled much harder and Blaine's face landed in the crook of Rory's neck and Blaine's immediate response had been to draw his hips in closer and tell him how nice he smelled.

"How much have you had to drink?" Rory asked him, pushing him off and holding him by his shoulders.

"I cannot understand a word you're saying," Blaine laughed, "But you have got such a pretty voice. Here, dance with me."

Rachel's laugh was filling up the room and Rory actually complied with Blaine's proposal to dance, possibly because Blaine's hand was already on his waist and he was trying to stumblingly lead a slow dance to a Lady Gaga track.

Mercedes had noticed Kurt and was upset. That was enough to sober up her thoughts and get her to go over to him. She patted his leg and made him sit up so she could squeeze onto the couch between him and Santana. Then she pulled Kurt in for a hug and Santana leaned in and they had a big, sobby group hug that landed Kurt in hiccups.

"What's wrong, Kurt?" Mercedes asked. He put his hand to his face and hiccupped.

"I just ruined you cute TOP with SNOT. I am so stupid. I am just—this is the worst—I don't even…"

"That is gross. But it's oookay. Just calm down."

"I drank—BEER and it was—AWFUL."

Mike had been watching and offered to bring down some water for everyone who needed it. Finn had rolled himself onto his back and had to be shifted first. Mercedes stroked Santana's hair and helped Kurt blow his nose between hiccups and tried to be reassuring.

"And now Blaine is dancing with RORY and—his stupid Irish charms. He doesn't love me, Mercedes—Blaine HATES me!"

It was true that now Blaine had his head on Rory's shoulder again and Rory was laughing somewhat awkwardly at something he'd said. Mercedes shook Kurt's shoulder. "Hey, that's not true. He's just drunk. YOU'RE just drunk. Everybody's kinda losing it. He still loves you."

"No—he doesn't. He HATES me. Blaine hates me and—" He was shouting to be heard over the music which Rachel had cranked as loud as she could amid a fit of giggles before she'd gone to mischievously roll Finn back onto his back again. "And I just—I love him so much and he wouldn't even—notice if I DIED. I could just—I could just DIE, Mercedes."

Mike returned and handed Mercedes two bottles of water, asked how Kurt and Santana were doing, then headed over across the room where the party was definitely not winding down because now Brittney had joined in the dancing and she was grinding between Rory and Blaine, respectively causing boners and giggles. Mike had a Tina-cape before he'd reached the other side of the room to wake Finn up and get him to drink some water.

Complaints from Kurt about how he didn't want to drink ANYTHING and having to drink half a bottle of water herself before she could convince him it would be good for him, were occupying Mercedes' time. Walking in the door with two dates had gone downhill quickly. Now that the people she had on either arm were sobbing uncontrollably and causing her to sober up quick. Santana's nails dug into Mercedes' arm and there was a lot of shouting and pointing and Santana had hold of another beer, throwing it down on the floor and storming over to the dancers.

After getting in about three sips of water, Kurt had hiccupped quietly for a while before dissolving into Mercedes' lap in a fit of tears. She calmly patted his head. Santana had put a stop to the grinding long ago, standing up and claiming her right to Brittney and dragging her away. Brittney hadn't noticed Santana was upset but was happy to move to a corner of the room with her.

Not long after that, Rory decided he needed to sit down, and Blaine, having lost his dance partner, spun around the room looking for Kurt. When he re-oriented himself he called, "Kurt! Hey Kurt," and headed over to the couch. He tripped and landed on his knees beside Kurt in a fit of giggled before shouting, "Come dance with me!"

Mercedes shook her head to warn him, but he didn't see. Kurt looked up from his wade of tissues and hiccupped again.

"Wait…" Blaine blinked hard as though he was trying to catch an image but it kept moving. "Wait Kurt…" he put his hand on Kurt's shoulder and shook it, "Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm hideous—and you hate me!"

"Pfffff! I don't hate you." He moved his hand to Kurt's hip and slid it down his thigh, "Hey, hey come dance with me Kurt."

"No. I'm just gonna go—just gonna go kill myself. I'm just gonna DIE."

"What? Kurt…" Blaine squeezed Kurt's thigh.

Mercedes patted Kurt's head again, "Nobody's killing themselves."

"No," was all Kurt said and started bawling again. He flailed a bit before succeeding in turning his back on Blaine and curling into Mercedes' arms, then he blew his nose into the tissues and threw them into the trashcan that Mercedes, now mostly sober, had procured for him.

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><p>I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I HAD A GIGGLE FIT WRITING THIS. ONWARD AND UPWARD!<p>

(P.S. This story turned out to be about serious business. See that? Although I really do intend for this to be silly, the message here is be safe when you drink and suicide is never an option. Thanks for your time. Stay tuned!)


	4. Chapter 4

YOU JUST GOT ANOTHER CHAPTER! CONGRATULATIONS!

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><p>Mercedes wasn't about to move and leave Kurt alone right then, and there was more than enough room for two skinny-boy butts on the couch next to her, so Blaine, boyfriend instincts kicking in over the alcoholic haze, slid onto the couch beside Kurt. He tried to put his arms around him, but Kurt flailed at his face and hiccupped and said "No!"<p>

Blaine huffed, "Why are you doing this Kurt? Are you mad at me?"

"No. You just hate me and you want to—go dance with other people …and Brittney." He planted his face onto Mercedes' shoulder and she rolled her eyes.

"I wanna dance with _you_, Kurt. I want you to sing with me. Come on. Come sing." He'd successfully gotten an arm around Kurt's waist along the couch and was holding Kurt's shoulder with the other hand.

"You're going to leave me. I'm—going to be all alone!"

"I am not!"

"You were—dancing with Rory. You love Rory."

"You know what? Sorry! I was just trying to have some fun. You said to have some fun." He let go of Kurt's shoulder, but couldn't coordinate himself to unwedge his arm from Kurt's hip.

Mercedes cut in and also took Kurt's hand before he could use it to slap Blaine away. "You know what? I think I need to take Kurt upstairs. He's done drinking."

"What? No. I can take him. We can go home, Kurt. I'll take you home," Blaine offered, sympathetic again.

"You're too drunk to drive!" Kurt yelled at him, "I'm—I'm gonna go home myself!"

"Kurt! Are you okay?" Rachel yelled from across the room. Blaine made a gesture back to indicate he was fine, but the music was turned down a lot lower now.

"You're _both_ too drunk. I'm gonna take Kurt up to Rachel's room," Mercedes decided, rolling herself out from under Kurt, then taking his hand and pulling him up. He was all sobby and wouldn't look at Blaine.

"Can I help?" Blaine asked, and Mercedes handed him the extra bottle of water.

"Just stay here."

"Yeah—stay here and—dance with—dance with _Rory_!" Kurt said bitterly and collapsed back down on the couch the minute Mercedes had gotten him off of it. She held his hand while he sat there doubled forward with his head on his knees, crying.

The party was definitely ready to wind down by that point. Everyone was looking at the trio by the couch and Blaine was trying helplessly to regain control enough of his own mind to be there for Kurt, but couldn't come to grips with why he was being yelled at or why Kurt was crying. He was holding a bottle of water and pulling himself closer to Kurt was the only thing he could think of to do. Drunk and feeling fuzzy, he pulled his boyfriend toward him by the shoulder, took Kurt's cheek in his hand, and kissed Kurt's forehead, sloppily and a bit rough. Then he looked carefully at Kurt's red face. "I'm not dancing with Rory," he assured him, and when Kurt collapsed onto his chest, fingers digging into his shirt, he used the opportunity to help Mercedes get him up and then sat back down in a stupor while Mercedes helped Kurt up the stairs.

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><p>THAT WAS THE SHORTEST CHAPTER EVER YOU GUYS.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N-** Guess what? You've reached the exciting conclusion! Don't cry for me, Argentina. I never promised more than 5 chapters.

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><p>REMEMBER? OUR HEROES HAD JUST LEFT THE PARTY… AND… GO!<p>

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><p>"Why aren't you drunk?" Kurt asked Mercedes fifteen minutes later, after she'd gotten him to the bathroom to wash up and relieve himself, and then to Rachel's room and set him down with a bottle of water. She'd gone to the kitchen and found a box of Vegan cookies for them to munch on.<p>

"I can't be drunk when my boy needs me. Besides. It isn't much fun doing it solo when practically everyone else is hooked up."

"Does Blaine hate me?" he asked after swallowing a bite.

"No. Of course he doesn't."

"But I was crying and I look like a sloppy, drunk, second place beauty queen. … And I yelled at him…"

"Hey, listen, you know how Blaine gets when he drinks. And he's really concerned about you. He doesn't hate you. He won't even be mad in the morning. And now we know better than to let you drink. The minute you get drunk you start ruining perfectly good clothing!"

Kurt laughed a little. "I can get the snot out of your top if you need me to."

"I can handle it. You work on getting the beer you spilled out of those pants."

Kurt looked down at them and tears started flowing again. "I'm so tired, Mercedes."

"Keep eating. Alcohol does that to you. It's also after 1am."

"I think Blaine hates me."

"Eat."

There was a knock on the door, which was standing open, and Blaine was in the doorway, still holding the unopened bottle of water.

"Kurt?" he asked tentatively.

Mercedes looked at Blaine a moment. His eyes were big and dilated and his cheeks were rosy from the alcohol, but his whole countenance was one of concern.

"I had trouble finding the bedroom… I bought water?" he offered timidly. Kurt wasn't looking at him.

Mercedes patted Kurt's knee, and gave him a hug. "I'm gonna go back downstairs and get a ride home from Mike and Tina. You call if you need me, okay?"

He nodded and she left with a pat on the shoulder to Blaine and a reminder to them both that they weren't allowed to drive.

As soon as she was gone, Blaine whispered, "Hey."

Kurt whispered the same back, but wouldn't look at him, so Blaine ventured forth. He sat down beside his boyfriend and put his hand on his shoulder, then let it run down his back.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

There was a pause.

"You wouldn't really kill yourself, would you?" Blaine asked.

Kurt shook his head, "No."

Kurt felt the weight of Blaine's head on his shoulder. There was a sigh of relief, and, setting the water bottle on the bed, Blaine gently squeezed Kurt's arm. "Okay. Good."

Kurt turned his head and found his nose face to face with the top of Blaine's head. The gel Blaine used in his hair had worn out through the evening and the curls he tried so hard to tame were coming undone against Kurt's cheek. He pressed his lips into the curls and inhaled. "Was that really what you were worried about?"

Blaine looked up at him, and their faces were closer than he'd expected them to be. He placed a hand on Kurt's cheek.

"Kurt… I know I'm drunk. I know I probably mess everything up, always, forever, but I just love you so much."

"I love you too," Kurt said, voice cracking.

Blaine moved like he was going in for a kiss, but pulled himself back from it instead, blinking and frowning to keep himself serious. "If I ever lost you, Kurt, I don't know what I'd do."

"You won't."

"I've never been so scared..."

Kurt could feel the tears coming back yet again and tried to fight with himself to keep them back. "I'm so sorry, Blaine. I didn't mean to—I was drunk—"

Blaine pressed his lips against Kurt's, and they kissed. It was a droopy, wet, messy kiss, and Kurt was aware enough to know his breath tasted terrible and to be able to taste how much alcohol there still was on Blaine's, but the pressure of Blaine's nose against his cheek and the way he placed his hand on his neck and just the fact that it was Blaine, and that he was there for him… it made everything okay. Every irrational fear that was still coursing through him was going to be okay, as long as he could kiss Blaine. He turned himself and scooted closer, opening his mouth into the kiss. Blaine's hand wrapped around his waist and encouraged it for a moment, but then he pulled his lips away.

"I'm… I'm still drunk, Kurt. I don't have a filter."

Kurt nodded, "I know." Then, after a second and looking into Blaine's blood-shot eyes, "I know." He shifted again and instead leaned his head onto Blaine's shoulder and said, "Do you want a vegan cookie?"

"Okay. I brought water."

They each took a cookie from the package and Blaine tapped his to Kurt's and said "Cheers." They munched for a bit and then he said, "Sorry the party ended this way."

Kurt shook his head. "No. You had fun. That's what matters."

"You are what matters. You and your beautiful face."

They finished eating their cookies, and then they lay back on the bed together and started to snuggle. However, almost as fast as they lay down, Blaine passed out, and Kurt pulled his boyfriend's face into his chest, kissed the top of his head again, and let himself drift to sleep on top of Rachel's pink sheets.

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><p>SO ENDS THE CANDYCRACK PIECE!<p>

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><p>AN- Are you proud of me? DID YOU LAST TILL THE END? Did I make you cry? Because if I did we can share tissues. Only not, because mine are all gross now.

If you liked it, give me some feedback, because I have an idea for writing basically everything that I think happened between Kurt and Blaine's theater kiss in s03e05 until practically almost the next day and I'm tentative about writing it… and it would involve the sex part so let me if you'd be onboard for that.


	6. Bonus Chapter

**BONUS CHAPTER?**

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><p>You thought I wouldn't. <em><strong>I <strong>_thought I wouldn't. But then I did.

BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT! Now flip your hair!

Do not expect it to go anywhere remotely interesting at all because… yeah. But hey! It's more to read? Yes? No? Okay I'll just leave it here anyway…

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><p>Blaine woke up, started, and immediately threw his hands over his eyes to block out the glaring brightness of hot-pink light that was flooding in around him. His head hurt. It was pounding and the bed was weird… too hard. He rolled to his side, thought better, and rolled back.<p>

Then he reached over and touched what he'd just rolled onto because it had groaned at him.

Holding his hand over his eyes like a shield, which was fruitless since the light was coming in at an angle, he peeked over across the sea of pink sheets. A rumpled mess was curled up next to him, cheeks pinker than usual, but it was definitely Kurt. Where were they? His whole face hurt like he'd been kicked by a horse. He rolled onto his stomach again and reached out to touch Kurt's shoulder.

"Wow! Sorry!" A voice from the doorway. It sounded like a giant, booming over a loud speaker. Blaine groaned, hand still over his eyes, and turned toward the noise. Whoever it was, was tall and turning around.

"Huh?" was all Blaine could say.

"Sorry. I didn't know you guys stayed over. I was just… it's Rachel's room." The voice belonged to Finn, and he didn't sound hung over at all.

For the life of him, Blaine couldn't pin together the word "Rachel's" with the word "room" and make it coherent. Things were just too bright still. He tried speaking. "Finn?"

"Yeah. I'm just gonna… I'm gonna go back downstairs. Leave you… sorry!"

Blaine was lying on his back again. Everything hurt. What had he been doing last night? Was he drunk? He tried to sit up and then stopped that. All he could think was that everything sucks.

There was a yawn next to him, and the bed moved a bit. Kurt had wiggled his way closer and pressed his forehead against Blaine's shoulder. His knees were tucked up under him because otherwise his legs would be hanging way off the bed the way Blaine's feet were. Kurt's fingers took hold of Blaine's upper arm and pressed into it.

Blaine half smiled and half wanted to wake him up and make him shut the blinds. He knew how cute Kurt must look. Underneath the throbbing and the nausea he could feel how much he wanted to just reach over and stroke Kurt's head. He knew how perfect that was, right then, waking up beside the most beautiful boy he'd ever met, but his body was telling him that was definitely not the case, and he mostly just wanted Tylenol. Or a gun to put himself out of his misery.

He groped till his hand rested on top of Kurt's and squeezed his hand. He tried to turn his head toward him, but something smelled horribly like beer, so he stayed facing the pink ceiling.

There was more sound and the bed moved near Blaine's feet. "Move over, snugglies. I'm joining."

Rachel sounded just as awful as Blaine felt and it took him until it was too late to realize what she's just said. She hopped up on her bed and face planted between them, landing with her face right below where Kurt's face still was, which startled Kurt like a sleeping kitten and woke him up.

"Oh my god!" he said, sitting up suddenly. Rachel didn't move.

"Rachel," Blaine moaned, "No… close the curtains."

Kurt looked around him frantically, checked his clothes, then his hair, then his face. "What's going on?" he demanded.

Rachel reached up and groped till she found him, and almost put her hand on his crotch before he caught her hand and moved it to his knee. "No talking. Just sleep," she said.

"What are we doing here?"

"Everything hurts," Blaine said, eyes still closed, and he stuck out his lower lip in a pout.

Kurt's heart was racing. A minute ago he'd been dreaming about shopping with Blaine at (Some really classy sort of shopping establishment) and Blaine had just gone down on his knee and… and he'd woken up to Rachel's face and her body and her body half on Blaine's body! Everything was coming back to him really slow.

"Kurt?" Rachel moaned. "Will you shut the curtains. And find aspirin?"

"What's going on?" he demanded again.

Even under the pounding, Blaine could hear the panic in Kurt's voice, so he forced his painful face to look over at him. "I think we're just hung over, sweetie."

"Are we… we're still at Rachel's?"

"My house. My bed," she assured him.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked.

Kurt stood up. He felt okay. He looked around himself. This was definitely Rachel's room. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm just going to use your powder room, okay Rachel?"

"Window…" she moaned, and he went over and closed the blinds, at which point both she and Blaine let out a sigh of relief and she rolled onto her side into Blaine's chest.

Before Kurt could react, Blaine gently pushed her away, turned, and curled onto his side with his back to her.

"Also bring Aspirin!" Rachel said, and Blaine agreed. On his way out, Kurt noticed a bottle of water on the floor. He picked it up and placed it in Blaine's hands and agreed to find aspirin.

With his hair all messy and his clothes rumpled so that there was enough skin showing on his hip and down to his stomach that you could make out the toning in his abs, Blaine looked incredible. Kurt had a pang in his chest and wished he could have woken up to that and not to a face-full of Rachel's hair.

Blaine squinted up at him. The dimmer light made his head feel a world better. "Hey," he whispered, "Come 'ere." He limply waved his hand at Kurt.

Kurt squatted down, but turned his head when Blaine rolled himself to lean closer to him. "No. My breath is terrible."

Blaine sighed, "Mine too. And I feel like crap."

"I'll get the aspirin."

"Aspirin!" Rachel agreed. She was face down in a pillow again.

Kurt went straight to Rachel's private bathroom and was appalled at the state of his face. He did what he could for both his skin, which he was slightly devastated over, and for his hair, but only a shower and getting back on his proper routine would solve it, so after forty-five minutes he gave up and walked downstairs, since Rachel didn't seem to keep medicine in her own medicine cabinet.

He came down the stairs to the sound of "Waffles! Waffles! … No, let's put jelly beans in them." And then from Santana, "Don't you dare put jelly beans in my share."

In the kitchen, Santana was looking at the back of a box of pancake mix and Brittney was reaching up into a cabinet and dragging down a waffle iron.

"You guys are still here?"

Santana gave him a look up and down and said, "Hey frumpy. Why aren't you hung over?"

"I have no idea. Why are you still here?"

"We're making waffles, do you want some?" Brittney asked.

"Yeah. I didn't want to be irresponsible and take Brittney home last night after everyone drunk their brains out. We crashed."

Brittney walked over to Kurt after setting down the waffle iron and wrapped her arms around him. "Are you feeling better today? You know, going to bed with tears is bad for your heart. You could have woken up and been made of stone."

Kurt decided it was best not to respond. He had been crying. He just couldn't remember what he was crying about.

"Brit! Am I making these myself? Cause if I'm making these myself they're gonna have egg shells and they gonna be burny and I'm gonna make you eat them and then we're taking them and feeding the rest to your cat."

"Lord Tubbington can't eat them. He's on a low-carb diet."

Kurt cut in, "Do you know where the aspirin is?"

"Why? You're fine."

"For Blaine… Also Rachel." He said the last part under his breath.

"Oh. Yeah, there's some here on the counter." Santana reached over, picked up and made to lob the bottle at his head before he insisted she stop and instead she just set them down and pushed them toward him. As he walked over to get them Santana said, "So hey, sorry about being all blubbery last night."

"It's fine. Me too."

"I guess we have the same issue, don't we?"

"What's that?"

Santana smiled and looked over at Brittney who was sifting flour and smiled at them both. "Beautiful lovers who lose it when they're drunk. … Also jealousy issues."

Kurt laughed, then sighed. He held the aspirin in both hands. She was right. Even though she acted like Satan-incarnate most of the time, he and Santana honestly had a lot in common. "Well… Thank god for Mercedes."

"Pfft! Yeah, right. Thank god I could bust the ass off any guy in the Glee club. … But seriously. We're just lucky they love us."

Kurt smiled at her and gave her a coy look. "How could they not?"

"Are you guys talking about me?" Brittney asked, brightly.

"Kurt agrees your ass would look good in my jeans," Santana said loudly, and while Kurt was busy turning red, Finn wandered into the room again.

Brittney nodded, "It's true."

"Right. I'm going to go medicate the drunk-and-disorderly-duo."

"Have waffles with us," Brittney invited.

"How about you start some coffee and I'll take you up on that once Blaine gets up?" Kurt said, and he walked out of the kitchen and back up the stairs.

In Rachel's bedroom, which was still light even with the curtain closed, Blaine and Rachel had both fallen asleep and had worked themselves around the bed so that Blaine was faced the wrong way, sleeping with his head on one of Rachel's legs and she was sleeping face-down and crooked, taking up most of the bed. Kurt smiled, and immediately plopped down on the only bit of spare bed, shaking it violently. He announced in a cheerful voice that it was time to get up and Rachel groaned and Blaine half-sat-up enough to cover Kurt's mouth and tell him he loved him but to "Shh." Kurt pulled him up and then let him moan softly onto Kurt's shoulder while he uncapped the pills and distributed 2 each into floppy hands.

"Why do we like alcohol?" Rachel asked, once they were all sitting on the bed together and Blaine and Rachel were sharing water, after the mouth of the bottle was carefully wiped by Kurt between drinks.

"Oh, we don't," Kurt assured her.

"I think I need coffee," Blaine moaned, again with his face on Kurt's chest. Kurt wrapped both arms around his disgruntled boyfriend.

"Santana's starting some downstairs."

"Why's Santana at my house?" Rachel asked, but didn't wait for an answer before eyeing Kurt and Blaine and complaining, "I need hugs. Where's Finn?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, then shifted Blaine to one shoulder and opened up his extra arm to invite Rachel in. She snuggled into the group hug.

"I should throw parties more often," she decided.

"Yeah… No, sweetie. No no no no no," Kurt replied. He rested his cheek on Blaine's head and breathed deeply. Beneath all the other weird smells in the room, Blaine's hair still smelled like the cologne in his gel. Kurt loved that smell.

* * *

><p>OKAY THAT'S REALLY THE END THERE!<p>

* * *

><p>Sorry if anyone was hoping for more Finn but I honestly really hate him. I think he's a hypocritical douche and the worst character on the show. And that's my end note! Hope you enjoyed!<p> 


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